Leadership lessons from my 20s (Part 2 of 2)

“Is that a snake around his neck?”, my wife asked. I glanced over and saw a lanky bald man with a white-yellow snake draped over his shoulders. It was quite the sight. Taking your pet out for a walk clearly meant a different thing in Greenwich Village.  

It had been two weeks since our move to New York. We were still acclimatising to the vibe around us. It felt humbling to be small fish in a big pond, but also empowering to be in that most global of cities. We revelled in the liberating anonymity of being nobodies in a metropolis. There was energy and colour in the new that surrounded us. The city’s unceasing noises, the diversity of groceries at the market, the brazen dare of drug pushers in Washington Square Park – our curiosity was constantly tickled. We were newly-weds starting our own story far from home. New York gave us discoveries that made the first year of that story, and the years that followed, truly our own. 

School had started at my NYU master’s programme. Intellectually, it awed me to be studying with international law legends. My professors included prominent thought leaders who litigated landmark cases and whose names appeared on textbook spines. Seminars and class discussions were enriched by the insights and experiences of classmates from all over the world. Peers with liberal arts backgrounds brought especially penetrating perspectives, their thoughts dancing effortlessly between law, history, science, philosophy, and more. Bit by bit, my closeted mind was pried open. 

Many classmates at NYU were at a similar life stage as us, i.e., with one spouse/partner in the master’s programme, and the other putting up with underemployment for income to supplement resources. We bonded over dinner parties and daytrips out of the city, sharing personal stories in communion. There was much empathetic head nodding over common cultural norms, but also amusement about the differences between races and nationalities. We formed friendships that have lasted the years since. 

My master’s programme was nine months long. Since we had decided we wanted to remain in the United States after my graduation, I started job-hunting the moment I touched America’s shores. While my wife had found employment with a New York law firm, her income was not going to be sufficient to sustain the both of us.  

With my aunt and my mother, celebrating my graduation from NYU, May 1997

Unlike in Singapore, the path to finding work in America was neither clear nor straight. I sent over 100 job applications, received four interviews, and secured two offers. The last arrived two weeks before my NYU graduation. The clock almost ran out on me.  

I accepted the more attractive of the two offers, i.e., to join the International Monetary Fund’s Legal Department in Washington, D.C. My NYU graduation was slated for May 1997, but I was not due to start at the IMF until September that year. I therefore had the summer to kill. By a stroke of luck, I managed to secure an internship in Geneva, Switzerland with the United Nations International Law Commission. I spent that summer supporting one of the commissioners in meetings and research work at the UN’s Palais des Nations campus. That assignment proved a useful extension of my master’s programme and gave me practical insights on the codification of international law. As a history buff, I also loved roaming the grand halls of the Palais des Nations, which was built in the late 1920s as the seat of the League of Nations.

United Nations Office in Geneva, Switzerland, the Palais des Nations

At my internship in Geneva, Switzerland, summer 1997

From the UN in Geneva, we moved in September 1997 to Washington, D.C., where I started my IMF career with excitement. It was a chance to live my dream of working in international law and diplomacy. Serendipity saw me joining the IMF just as the Asian Financial Crisis was unfolding in Thailand and Indonesia. I was assigned to the IMF’s Thailand team, and promptly found myself having to hold my own in negotiations with Thai officials many decades my senior, including Thailand’s Minister of Finance. It was both unnerving and inspiring. 

Moving to Washington, D.C., September 1997

With those early days at the IMF and in Washington, D.C., I felt I was ending my 20s in a good place. I loved going to work with colleagues who hailed from over 140 countries. I loved working on matters which appeared on the front pages of newspapers. I loved the intellectual environment of my organisation. And I loved that, while the work was intense, my wife and I had time to unwind and discover our new home city as a couple.

What my 20s taught me about leadership (Part 2 of 2):  

• Moving out of your home country will change how you see yourself and the world. That transformation will spur you to seek out more new experiences throughout your life. Use those experiences to enrich and serve others. 

• A journey is given special meaning by the friends you make along the way. Friendships formed while undergoing life’s transitions (e.g., college, job changes, relocations) will accent the memory collage that makes up your identity.

• The depth of friendships compounds over time in the same way a financial investment increases in value. Time is your most precious variable in building meaningful relationships with others. Use it well by keeping in touch with the people you treasure. 

What did your 20s teach you about leadership?  

The next article in my mid-career retrospective series, covering part of my 30s, will drop on 9 November 2024. Subscribe to my blog to be notified. 

(This article is part of a mid-career retrospective series on my professional life. Each article in the series recounts events in one decade of my career. At the end of each piece, I summarise what those events taught me about leadership. All articles in this series are hosted on my blog.) 

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 As a leadership consultant and coach, I help organisations and individuals use good leadership practices to succeed. Email me to discuss how we can work together.